


brightside

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Comforting Mai, Dead Azula, Dead Lover, F/F, Gay yearning, Grief, Grieving Ty Lee, I apologize in advance, Or she wishes she does, Ty Lee Centric, Ty Lee Hates Azula, Zuko Mention, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25504429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Her touch, her voice, her laugh, it was all she wanted and all she couldn’t have.orty lee grieves a life that once was.
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 81





	brightside

Ty Lee sits on her bed, staring outside or her window and watching the snow on the ground began to melt. 

She knows what time of year it is, spring was coming. Her favorite time of the year, when the Earth really began to come alive again. 

But she can’t bring herself to enjoy it. She can’t bring herself to enjoy anything anymore, no, no without her. 

Ty Lee swears, even though she no longer lives in the palace, that every now and then she can smell Azula’s perfume. 

She can still smell the scent lingering in her nose, haunting her, maybe. It was nice and light and sweet, everything Azula wasn’t. 

She couldn’t find herself hating it though, she couldn’t find herself hating Azula very much, either. Because really, all she wants is to see the other. To be in the presence of the storm that is the Fire Nation princess again. 

Sometimes she hears her voice in her dreams. It lingers with her into the mornings sometimes, giving her false idea that maybe Azula has returned to her. That she was sitting on her bed, waiting for Ty Lee to wake. Sometimes, she wishes it was real. 

Ty Lee hates how empty everything feels without her. How empty she feels without it. She remembers, for a moment, how Azula used to tease her for being so uppity and she frowns. In moments like these, she longs to hear her lover, even if it’s in the form of an insult. 

"Zula," Ty Lee calls out, knowing she’ll never get the reply she so desperately needs. "Do you still love me?" Her voice cracks, she’s crying. 

In reply to the silence, she let out a noise of frustration. Nothing was right. She stands up, feeling like a stone. She feels so wrong without the other, so wrong she can barely even function, do everyday tasks without her coming in her mind. Everything she does, every simple movement somehow brings Ty Lee back to her, and she fucking hates it. "Agni!" She yells out as, punching her bed.

She wonders, if Azula knows what she does to her. If somehow, she knows exactly the curse she had cast upon her companion. She wonders if she’s laughing at her devastation, if she thinks she deserves it. 

She wants to hate Azula for putting her through this, she knew how much Ty Lee would struggle. She wants to hate her for everything she’s ever said to her, everything she’s ever done. She wants to hate still thinking about her, she wants to hate how she can still feel her presence in a room.

But she just _can’t._ She hates herself for that, just a little.

_”You’re never like this in public.” Ty Lee mused as she and Azula lay on the princess’s large bed, comfortable & calm for once. Everything felt easy. “Not even around Mai.”_

_“Not everyone deserves to see me relaxed.” Azula replied simply, the words make Ty Lee squint._

_“And why do I?”_

_Azula hummed at this, raising her hand in the air to inspect her nails. “Because I trust you.”_

_The simple words made Ty Lee’s heart stop for a moment, made her whole body tingle. She was smiling now, she wondered if Azula noticed. “Oh. I trust you too.”_

_“I know, silly.” Azula mumbled._

_The two fell into a comfortable silence, but Ty Lee couldn’t rid of her smile, even if her cheeks hurt. She didn’t mind._

Ty Lee’s stomach hurts. She hates these, the nice memories of moments just shared between them, their secrets. They hurt the most, she thinks. 

She wants to scream and run and never have to face them again, not with the way they made her head feel like it was going to burst. 

She’s drags herself to a closet, skimming to the back to be met with one of the only belongings of Azula’s she had left. 

Her robe. 

She swears, even if she knows it doesn’t, it still still smells like her. It’s an easy excuse to cling to it. 

She rubs the silky material between her fingers for a moment before clutching it her hands, like she’s a lost child it’s her only connection to home. Her hands shake. 

_”Ty Lee. Stop messing around and finish my hair.” Azula snapped impatiently, drawing her hands away from exploring the other’s scalp._

_“I was giving you a head massage!” Ty Lee countered, her voice rising a pitch._

_“I think you’re just finding an excuse to play with my hair. It’s alright, you can say it’s silky.”_

_Ty Lee laughed, a loud, booming laugh that almost makes Azula smile. “Okay, maybe a little,” she lifted the princess’s dark bundles of hair into a topnot, complete with two drawn out strands, before continuing, “But! It’s just how you like it now.”_

_“Thank you,” Azula let out a sigh of relief, “You’re the only one who knows just how to do it right.”_

_No matter how minor the compliment ways, coming from Azula, it made Ty Lee blush. And now was definitely no exception._

_“It’s my pleasure, always.” The words came out like a promise._

_“Always.” Azula confirmed._

Always. Always, Always, Always. The word ran through Ty Lee’s mind again and again. What a stupid thing to say, a silly thing to promise. 

Though, a part of Ty Lee wishes she had still managed to keep it. 

She returns to the softness of her bed, wrapping the familiar robe around herself as she curls into a ball. 

Ty Lee used to love spring, but now she has grown to hate it. It’s too painful, everything hurt as memories struck her mind more vividly than she ever hoped they should. She just wants to forget, maybe then it wouldn't be painful.

She sobs without tears, her throat coarse and dry. A part of her, bigger than she would care to admit wants was to erase herself completely and live in her unconscious mind, where Azula still roams. Where she can still hear her voice.

_Ty Lee grimaced._

_She hated this. She wasn’t built for this type of stuff, really._

_Across from her, sat Azula. Azula? It felt weird to associate the name with who she was saying. No, no, no. This wasn’t her Aula. This was merely the ghost of her. A silhouette of the girl she once knew._

_She noticed her eyes first. Her once firey, ember eyes that calculated every room she walked into. The ones that seemed to be able to know whatever Ty Lee was thinking for a glimpse. The ones that could make anyone cower under her, they were so different. They seemed lifeless, hallow. Ty Lee thought it was like looking at a dead person._

_Then, she noticed her hair. Agni, Ty Lee remembered how important it once was to Azula. She remembered exactly how picky she was about her bun. She remembered how she was one of the few Azula would let touch it. The once silky strands of jet black hair were now matted, tangled, and resembled hay. Longing to comb it out ate at Ty Lee._

_She didn’t want to talk first. Agni, this wasn’t what she expected to see. This isn’t what she wanted to see._

_“Why’d you come here?” Azula snapped, though Ty Lee couldn’t help but notice the lack of bite it had. Her once close companion’s voice sounded raw, as if she hadn’t used it properly in months._

_“I probably shouldn’t have.” Ty Lee admitted, her tone soft. “I wanted to see you.”_

_Azula closed her eyes before speaking, Ty Lee wondered if that was a new habit. “Ah. A year without a visit and you supposed today would be a nice day to say hello?” Azula’s eyes reopened, this time meeting Ty Lee’s. “I don’t want to see you. You’re nothing to me.”_

_If one thing hadn’t changed, Azula still knew how to hit people right where it hurt, Ty Lee supposed. “I don’t think you mean that, Azula.”_

_“You don’t often think, actually. That’s your problem.” A quick snapback, another one that hurt. Ty Lee wished after all this time she could feel numb to the things Azula said to her. She couldn’t._

_“I’m sorry for not coming sooner.” Ty Lee threw out weakly, she wished she could say more. “I knew you wouldn’t want to see me.”_

_Azula narrowed her eyes, as if she didn’t know what to say next. A short silence followed. “You were right,” Azula voice cracked for a moment, giving her away. She inhaled. “Please, just go.”_

_Ty Lee didn’t have it in her to fight today no, she would have to win this battle another day. She stood and gave a small bow to the once graceful princess. “I’ll be back, Zula.”_

_She left._

Ty Lee thinks she would give her soul to any spirit who asked for it to get a chance at seeing Azula again, even if it was the version she met at the hospital that day. 

She closes her eyes for a moment, before rolling over to the small nightstand next to her bed. She pulls open a drawer and is greeted with a small, red jewelry box. She held back a smile as she reminisced on when Azula gave it to her. 

She opens it with a bit too much force, looking at the gold ring inside it. It made her chest hurt. 

She took it out of it’s container and slipped it on her finger. Still fit. It felt good on her hand, like a shiny piece of Azula. Of _her_ Azula. 

_”Ty Lee, I’m so sorry.” Mai spoke softly, like she was scared her words would break the other girl. She was almost positive they did._

_Ty Lee blinked. There was no way, this couldn’t be true. Azula. Her Azula, the one she’d loved since childhood was dead? Gone? It had to have been a joke._

_“Ty Lee, listen to me, please.”_

_“You’re wrong. This is just,” she inhaled, searching for her own explanation. “This is just one of her things. She’s tricking you guys, or something. She can’t be dead.”_

_“Zuko found her on his own.” Mai swallowed, placing a gentle hand on the back of her friend. “He saw her body, Ty. There was nothing we could do for her. She’s gone.”_

_Ty Lee turned her body at Mai’s touch, closing her eyes as tight as she could to try and escape this reality. “Get out.”_

_“Ty Lee, I-“_

_“Get out!” She repeated, in the loudest Mai had ever heard her voice raise. She complied._

_Ty Lee felt like she was going to throw up, everything felt fucking fuzzy. She didn’t want to believe this, she couldn’t._

_She couldn’t stop her tears. Hell, she didn’t think they would ever stop coming._

And maybe they never would, Ty Lee tells herself bitterly. Not until she was completely dried up, completely numb. 

She removes the ring from her finger and places it and it’s box back into the depths of her drawer, her hands shaky at the overwhelming memory. 

She closes her eyes, wanting to feel Azula’s touch just once more. Once more and she'll be okay. One more time, and she promises the spirits she'll never ask again. All she needs was Azula, her mind craves her. 

She reaches out, arms falling to either side of her as she shuts her eyes tighter, trying to remember Azula’s touch. It was so out of reach to her, the warmth that the bender made her feel, the butterflies she ignited in her stomach. Her touch, her voice, her laugh, it was all she wanted and all she couldn’t have. 

Curling into a tighter ball, Ty Lee clings deeper into Azula’s old robe, desperate for any reminder of her. “I miss you, Zula.” She hums into the air, hoping, somehow she can hear.

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place after smoke and shadow after azula disappears. she’s found dead by zuko and u can obviously read the rest. i wanted to try a ty lee centered thing and i don’t think i did it very much justice but alas!


End file.
